


Wrong as Rain

by darkmagicalgirl



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 11:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4018459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkmagicalgirl/pseuds/darkmagicalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kamasaki doesn't understand why Futukuchi keeps showing up at his job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrong as Rain

**Author's Note:**

> For [Dateko Week](http://hqdatekouweek.tumblr.com) Day 2 prompt: Weather. A little late because I decided last night to change the entire ending and ended up doubling the fic length.

It's gotten to the point where Kamasaki tenses up whenever he hears the chiming of the bell that signals a new customer has entered the diner. Usually, it's followed by the sounds of a family or odd loner coming into to eat a hurried meal and leave, but sometimes, sometimes, it's-

"Oh my~!" Futakuchi's voice is unmistakable, piercing through the disgustingly over-produced pop that apparently has to be playing on the speakers at all times. "It's only 7pm and Kamasaki-san is already making this kind of angry face? Are you sure you're really cut out for a job with so much customer service?"

Kamasaki does as Moniwa was always begging him and counts to ten before he turns around. Futakuchi grins at him, the picture of impishness, as he slides into one of the counter seats and props his head on a hand, never looking away.

"What the hell are you doing here again, brat?" Kamasaki asks as he wipes the counter with slightly more vigorousness than is strictly necessary. "Isn't this a school night?"

Futakuchi lifts a schoolbag into the seat next to him and starts pulling out notebooks. "That's no way to greet a regular customer, Kamasaki-san," he scolds. "I can study here just as easily as I can at home, you know. Well, I guess you wouldn't know. You weren't very good at studying no matter where you were, right?"

"You ba-"

"I want hotcakes," Futakuchi says. "With whip cream. And a really large strawberry milkshake."

"That is the least healthy dinner order I have ever heard," Kamasaki says. "Order something with a vegetable in it, you little shit."

"Kamasaki-san, I didn't know you cared so much about my wellbeing," Futakuchi says, grin only growing wider. He's like the Cheshire Cat, if the Cheshire Cat was the most annoying former kouhai alive. "I'm so touched!"

"Don't be stupid," Kamasaki says, but he does argue Futakuchi into getting a slightly more reasonable dinner before he has to go tend to other, less frustrating customers. He drops off all their orders to the window where his boss, the chef of this weird foreign-style diner that had been willing to hire him fresh out of high school, peers over them.

"I heard your friend come in," she says, smiling as she works, her hands a blur of motion. "It's so nice that he comes to visit you so often. He must really miss you!"

Kamasaki bites his tongue. He knows there's nothing he can say to convince her that Futakuchi isn't his friend, he's his personal pest, one that seems determined that Kamasaki never shake free of him.

Futakuchi hadn't been lying when he said he was a regular customer. He'd shown up nearly the day Kamasaki had started working here, all bright smiles and _Oh my, Kamasaki-san, what a coincidence_ and batting his stupid eyelashes whenever Kamasaki glared at him across the room. He comes in at least once a week, only ever when Kamasaki's on shift, and settles in to make Kamasaki's life hell.

The only bits of relief that Futakuchi gives him are that he doesn't harass any of the other customers and, true to his word, he usually does spend most of his time studying. Most of his time, of course, is by very definition not _all_ of his time, and Futakuchi has an uncanny ability to know when Kamasaki is about to have some downtime and make sure he's taking a break then as well.

It's not just at the diner, either. Kamasaki has three jobs, all told, enough to pay for his own tiny apartment, and somehow Futakuchi manages to show up at all of them.

He's constantly passing through the train station where Kamasaki mans the information booth on Tuesday and Thursdays, asking to see the Lost and Found or quizzing Kamasaki on things no one who wasn't a ridiculous, overly intelligent and underly mannered seventeen year old would ever think to ask about the train station.

At Kamasaki's other other job, the real job that he actually cares about, the one that isn't just about getting enough together to pay both his rent and electric bills, Futakuchi shows up just a frequently. Kamasaki knew most of the Datekou team walked by the auto mechanic's workfront on the way to and from school, knew because barely months ago he was one of them, but he hadn't realized that would mean that Futakuchi would saunter by every goddamn day and come over to sit by Kamasaki and provide commentary. On the noises, on the smells, on the grease that Kamasaki got on his clothes, literally anything was fuel for Futakuchi's constant chatter.

So really, things hadn't changed much at all.

"We're closing up," Kamasaki says, flicking a dishrag in Futakuchi's direction. "So pay up or I'll arrest you for theft."

"Don't be ridiculous, Kamasaki-san, you don't have the authority to arrest anybody," Futakuchi says even as he pulls his wallet out. He's done settling his check by the time Kamasaki can officially clock out of his shift, leaving the lock-up for the boss.

"Shit," Kamasaki says as he opens the door. He'd heard it start to rain partway through the evening, but he hadn't realized it was storming this hard. Luckily, his apartment is close by, but he's not looking forward to running through this downpour. "Stupid fucking weatherman has no fucking idea what he's talking about," he grumbles. "20 percent chance of rain my fucking ass."

"While I'm not sure if you entirely understand how percentages work, I have to agree," Futakuchi says, peering around Kamasaki's shoulder. "This sucks. I can't walk home in this."

"What are you planning to do instead, fly there?" Kamasaki asks.

"Don't be mean," Futakuchi says. "You know I hate being out in the rain."

It's true. Kamasaki has several, aggravating memories of how Futakuchi would refuse to run outside with the team if it was even drizzling, how he'd start sneezing from just dashing from the school's main building to the gym, how he'd moaned for weeks following a training camp where, okay, fair enough, Kamasaki had maybe locked him out in a storm for five minutes for being a disrespectful brat. 

Already, Futakuchi is starting to look wilted. Any moment he'll start to sneeze, even if he hasn't gotten wet yet.

"Tell me you brought a fucking umbrella," Kamasaki says. 

Futakuchi holds one up. "But my feet," he whines. "They'll get splashed and my socks will go all soggy and terrible." And then he lets out a piteous sneeze, giving Kamasaki his version of puppy dog eyes. 

"Stop giving me that look," Kamasaki says. "It just makes me want to hit you."

"Kamasaki-san is such a bully," Futakuchi says. "Shouldn't you have become more mature by now? You've been out of high school for months and you're still acting like this. Are you sure you're really over eighteen?"

"Dammit, Futakuchi!!" Kamasaki snaps, unable to contain himself any longer. "Can't you be respectful even when you're gearing up to ask for something?!"

"Let me stay at your apartment until the rain clears up," Futakuchi says, the rest of Kamasaki's outburst apparently having no effect on him. "Please? You can use my umbrella and I know you only live a few blocks away… I'd have to walk for miles to get home."

He's not even surprised that Futakuchi knows where he lives. "No way, brat. I don't want to put up with your face if I'm not being paid."

"That's no way to treat your former kouhai!"

"Well, you never acted like a good kouhai, so you can't expect that kind of treatment now!" 

And suddenly, Kamasaki is very, very nervous, because Futakuchi goes quiet and gives him a considering look, which can only mean trouble coming from him. This impression isn't helped at all when Futakuchi bites his lip and looks down before looking back up again through his lashes, looking shy, almost.

"Please, Kamasaki-senpai?" he asks in a terrifyingly sugary voice. "I'll do anything you want…" His eyelashes flutter in the neon lighting from the store's sign.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Kamasaki asks, alarmed and feeling vaguely threatened, which is probably a good instinctive response to Futakuchi doing anything he doesn't understand. 

"Being an adorable kouhai," Futakuchi says, still with that exaggerated pout. "So you'll let me in out of the rain… Kamasaki-senpai." He practically purrs the last word, stripping the honorific of any of the innocent respectfulness it ought to convey.

"Holy shit," Kamasaki says. "I'll let you crash at my place if you promise to never, ever, use that tone with me again." 

"You're no fun, Kamasaki-san," Futakuchi says, but he drops his voice back to his normal register and straightens up, mouth curling back into its normal smirk.

"Gimme the damn umbrella," Kamasaki says as he wonders if this was Futakuchi's plan all along. To freak Kamasaki out into doing what he wanted. He thinks about hitting him, but just as he's considering it, Futakuchi sneezes again and Kamasaki remembers that he does feel bad about how uncomfortable Futakuchi is in the rain. Then again, Futakuchi had been acting pretty weird, which makes Kamasaki want to hit him, and he wouldn't be in the rain anyway if he hadn't been following him around town for some probably twisted, terrifying reason that only makes sense to Futakuchi, and that also makes him want to hit him.

Kamasaki has never been very good at math, so he's still trying to balance that equation and figure out whether he should or shouldn't hit Futakuchi when they get to his apartment. He unlocks the door and elbows Futakuchi out of the way so he can enter first.

"Wow, it's surprisingly clean in here," Futakuchi chirps as he slips in around Kamasaki and looks around the apartment. "But look at all these bills piled up! Kamasaki-san, you know they won't disappear if you ignore them, right?"

"Goddammit, Futakuchi!!" Kamasaki swings the stick of the umbrella down to hit the back of Futakuchi's knees, making him jump. "Don't go through other people's mail!"

"But Kamasaki-san, you're being a terrible host," Futakuchi says. "You haven't offered me anything to drink or dry clothes or- don't hit me with my own umbrella!"

"Don't act like a brat to me in my own damn home!" Kamasaki snaps, still thwacking at Futakuchi with the umbrella. Futakuchi's dodging skills are really very good, and Kamasaki would compliment how much he obviously has been working on his reflexes if he _weren't so fucking annoyed_. 

"Wow, Kamasaki-san, you're willing to shout so loudly even in this thin-walled apartment! Do you not care if your neighbors hate you?"

That does penetrate Kamasaki's haze of anger and he pauses for a moment, giving Futakuchi an opportunity to nip past him into the bathroom. 

"I'll be taking the first shower, thanks, Kamasaki-san!" Futakuchi calls and has the door shut and locked before Kamasaki can grab him, leaving him only the choice to yell at him through the door and risk the wrath of the scary woman the floor above with the dog, which is really no choice at all.

In a bout of perhaps unprecedented considerateness, Futakuchi's shower is relatively short and quiet. Kamasaki was half expecting him to draw out the time, using up the hot water and raising Kamasaki's water bill. Instead, it's only a few minutes before the door opens and Futakuchi strolls out, holding his clothes balled up in the hand that's not clutching Kamasaki's best towel.

"Can I borrow some of your clothes, Kamasaki-san?" Futakuchi says, peering around the room for where Kamasaki might be hiding his clothes before spotting the closet door where it's partially hidden behind a poster.

"No," Kamasaki says. "Be stupid and naked all night in punishment for being a brat."

"I never knew you were so pervy, Kamasaki-san," Futakuchi says as he rifles through the drawers inside the closet. "Why are so many of your shirts black? Are you scared of color?"

"You better hope it miraculously stops raining soon," Kamasaki says. "Because if you're still here when I get out of the shower, I'm going to wring your scrawny neck."

"Just because I'm not musclebound doesn't mean I'm scra-"

Kamasaki greatly enjoys being able to cut Futakuchi off by shutting the door in his face.

As he scrubs himself clean, Kamasaki wonders how he's going to get through the night without killing Futakuchi. They've spent longer periods of time together before, of course, at training camps, but that was always with Moniwa and Aone around to step in if things got too heated between them. Kamasaki isn't sure what will happen without someone there to stop them.

Despite telling him not to, Kamasaki assumes Futakuchi will have helped himself to any clothes he could find, so he's not exactly surprised to find Futakuchi lounging on his bed, playing with the neckline of one of Kamasaki's oldest shirts, one he wore frequently to practices, along with what Kamasaki desperately hopes are his own boxers. He snorts and turns away, quickly changing into his own pajamas.

"What do you even do to your shirts?" Futakuchi asks. "The necklines are all stretched out. See?" He pulls at it gently, showing off how much of his shoulder and collar bone is revealed.

"It's an old shirt," Kamasaki snaps, feeling more tense than is really deserved from a remark of that annoyance level. The prospect of Futakuchi sticking around all night must be getting to him. "And of course it doesn't fit you, dumbass." Their heights might not be dissimilar but their builds are different, Futakuchi all slender muscle and Kamasaki more, well, just regular muscle. He rolls his eyes as he leans in past Futakuchi to grab his best towel so he can hang it up with the other, scratchy towel he'd had to use.

"You don't think I look good like this?" Futakuchi asks, standing up on his knees and tugging down the hemline of the shirt so it hides his boxers, making it almost look he's only wearing the shirt. When Kamasaki drags his gaze up to his face, Futakuchi is giving him that look again, all pouty and eyelashes.

"What the fuck are you-" Kamasaki begins when Futakuchi grabs at him and yanks, and _when had Futakuchi gotten this strong_ , because he manages to twist them around so Kamasaki is falling onto the bed, barely managing to catch himself with his hands so he's not completely fallen over, and Futakuchi sets his knees to either side of Kamasaki's lap and holds him in place with a hand on his shoulder, biting his lip as he looks down at him.

"Didn't you like it when I called you Kamasaki-senpai earlier?" he asks. "You're always telling me to be more respectful, so I thought you'd be into that kind of thing." 

Kamasaki isn't sure if his state of extreme confusion can be successfully translated into actual words, but he tries his best. "Eh?!"

"There's no need to look so confused," Futakuchi says. "I'm not trying to trick you. I'm being one hundred percent genuine right now."

Firstly, Kamasaki didn't believe that Futakuchi could ever be one hundred percent genuine about anything. Secondly, he still had no idea what Futakuchi was supposedly being one hundred percent genuine _about_. So he just keeps staring, frown deepening, as he waits for Futakuchi to get off of him or say something that could clue Kamasaki in to what the _hell_ was going on.

Futakuchi doesn't say anything, though, just waits, eyes searching Kamasaki's face. Then, a suddenly as a door slamming, his face breaks in to one of its regular, shit eating grins and he leans back.

"Gotcha," he says, climbing off Kamasaki. "You looked pretty funny right then, Kamasaki-san. I really got you, didn't I?" His voice is higher than normal and he turns away quickly, heads over to the window. "Wow, I think the rains lightening up, actually. I should head home, then! I wouldn't want to try your hospitality, after all."

Futakuchi looks like he's planning to bolt out the door without delay, but he's foiled by his lack of pants. As he's forced to stop and look around for where he's thrown his things, Kamasaki is able to come back to his senses and launches himself at Futakuchi, sending them both falling to the floor as Futakuchi shrieks his surprise.

"Don't just do weird stuff and then run away, dammit!" Kamasaki says as he puts Futakuchi in a judo arm lock, barely remembering to use Futakuchi's non-dominant arm out of kindness. "You confusing brat!"

Futakuchi's reply is muffled against Kamasaki's legs, which are being used to hold him down. He struggles, but not very hard. Kamasaki is stronger and neither of them actually want Futakuchi to get hurt. "Lmm whp!" Futakuchi says into Kamasaki's sweatpants.

"Punishment for annoyingness lasts two full minutes!" Kamasaki says. That was the rule when he had been a second year and Futakuchi a cocky first year. Well, it was more like punishment for annoyingness couldn't last longer than two full minutes, but Kamasaki had felt his interpretation worked just as well.

Futakuchi keeps up a steady stream of muffled but insultingly inflected words for the first thirty seconds, pretends to go limp for the next thirty, lets out another round of incomprehensible invective for the thirty after that, and then actually goes limp suddenly enough in to the last thirty seconds that Kamasaki decides to let him out early.

"You're such a neanderthal, Kamasaki-san," Futakuchi whines as soon as he can, sitting up and rubbing his arm with the most injured expression Kamasaki has ever seen.

"Yeah, yeah," Kamasaki says, unimpressed. "Explain yourself or I'll just do it again."

"There's nothing to explai- No, no, I forfeit, don't-!"

Kamasaki keeps in a hold for only fifteen seconds this time. Futakuchi had said he was forfeiting, after all. "Try again," he says as he lets him up.

Futakuchi stays lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't want to," he says in a small voice. "You'll make fun of me."

That only serves to confuse Kamasaki more. Isn't their entire relationship based on them making fun of each other and picking stupid fights? With Futakuchi, in Kamasaki's mind, being the one to start most of it? Could Futakuchi actually have some kind of real insecurity like a normal person?

"What if I, fuck, I dunno, promise not to?" Kamasaki says, trying not to feel like a middle schooler at a sleepover. 

Futakuchi considers it. "Fine," he says. "But for the record, I am only doing this because you are a barbaric bully who beats people up, understood?"

"I don't beat people up, I beat _you_ up," Kamasaki says, poking Futakuchi's cheek hard enough to make his gaze flick over and narrow into a glare. "You're special."

For some reason, that statement doesn't serve to annoy Futakuchi further or offer some sort of hey-I'm-still-insulting-you-like-normal-so-chill comfort, both outcomes Kamasaki had considered and decided worked for him. Instead, Futakuchi's eyes widen and he looks back up to the ceiling as if asking for endurance. 

"Spill it, asshole," Kamasaki says, poking him again, and then a third time for good measure.

"You're so- okay, okay!" Futakuchi sighs, opens his mouth, shuts it again, looks at Kamasaki, throws a hand over his eyes, and then in a strangled voice, finally grits out, "I was trying to seduce you."

"Seduce me?" Kamasaki repeats, something that would usually earn him a joke about parrots or low intelligence from Futakuchi. Now it just earns him a tiny nod. "Why?"

Futakuchi drops his hand to stare at Kamisaki with wild eyes. "Why do you _think_? How many reasons do people usually have for seducing someone?"

"Well," Kamasaki says cautiously. "Money, power, a boost to their self-esteem-"

"I have a crush on you, okay?" Futakuchi breaks in before Kamasaki could keep listing. "Though right now I can't remember _why_ I would possibly-"

"On me?" Kamasaki repeats again. He lifts a hand up to scratch his chin as he turns the idea over. "Huh."

"That's your reaction?" Futakuchi seems to shake off whatever lingering pre-emptive embarrassment had kept him lying on the floor, sitting up so he can gape at Kamasaki with undisguised horror. "That is absolutely the worst reaction to being confessed to I have ever heard of, Kamasaki-san, what is wrong with you?"

Now it's his turn to feel embarrassed. "Hey! It's not like your confession was at all good either, you know! Who tries to tell someone about their feelings by calling them senpai and acting like a creepy dating sim character, anyway?"

"People find that kind of thing really attractive, you know!" Futakuchi snaps. "And I wasn't planning on telling you about my feelings, I was just planning to have se-" He cuts himself off, looking halfway close to clapping a hand over his mouth.

"Have se-? How does that sentence end?" Kamasaki asks, even though he can make a pretty good damn guess.

"I thought it might make it go away!"

"You have to tell me what all the _it_ s are in these sentences, dammit!" 

"Sex! My feelings! Oh my god, this is a disaster," Futakuchi says and covers his face with his hands.

"Well, that's a real fucking stupid idea, Futakuchi!" Kamasaki rubs the hair at the back of his head. "Does that means you don't want me to answer you?"

"You fucking better at this point!" Futakuchi says. "Now it'll be worse if you don't and I have to guess!"

"Oh, well then," Kamasaki says and realizes he needs to think about what to say. He'd been so focused on trying to connect Futakuchi's weird behavior to his suddenly revealed motivations that he'd forgotten to actually consider what Futakuchi had told him. "Wait," he says. "Does this means all your annoying-ass behavior was, what, you pulling my pigtails? Trying to get my attention?"

"You said you weren't going to make fun of me!"

"I'm not, I'm not, I'm just trying to understand! Holy fuck, Futakuchi," Kamasaki says. It did make a sort of sense, if he took Futakuchi's warped personality into account. All this bullshit was probably, like, his entire philosophy of being an easygoing little shit fighting against having real serious feelings. That was actually pretty adorable. "Yeah, sure, I'm in," he says impulsively.

"You're what?" Futakuchi peers through his fingers in confusion.

"Dating you, or whatever. It can't be more annoying than dealing with you as much as I do anyway," Kamasaki says. "And seeing you all flustered is pretty great!"

"I should have known you would be terrible about this," Futakuchi says but he moves his hands away from his face and is looking at Kamasaki with something like confused, slightly irritated hopefulness. "Are you serious?"

Kamasaki nods. "Though, just to be clear," he says. "We're not going to ' _have se-_ ' tonight. It is like midnight and we both have things to do tomorrow, and you're all freaky tonight, clearly." Also, Kamasaki isn't sure if his mind, always struggling to keep up with Futakuchi, could take much more breain-breaking curveballs that Futakuchi might throw out when it came to actual fucking.

"Oh god, fine, whatever, please just-" Futakuchi shakes his head. "Just stop discussing it so casually!"

"If you can't handle talking about it, you shouldn't have been trying to seduce anyone, Futakuchi," Kamasaki says. 

"Ugh," Futakuchi says. "Well, I'm not going to sleep on the futon and you can't make me."

Kamasaki nods and decides not to mention that he doesn't even own a futon. It's weird, he thinks, how not weird this feels. He wonders if he's had a crush on Futakuchi and hadn't noticed it. As much as he hates to admit it, that does sound like something he might do, and it would explain some of the jokes Sasaya had made at his expense sometimes. Maybe he should ask him - or, actually, maybe he should ask Moniwa. That was probably safer.

"Do I get a," Futakuchi says and chokes a second before recovering his cool. "Do I at least get a good night kiss?"

"Are you trying to seduce me again?" Kamasaki asks and when Futakuchi glares and opens his mouth to retort, Kamasaki leans in and kisses him. Futakuchi is burning with what is probably embarrassment, but it still feels nice, he's a surprisingly good kisser for someone who's seduction technique was putting on Kamasaki's clothes and calling him senpai after maybe intentionally getting stuck with him in the rain.

"Aw, shit," Kamasaki says as he leans back, a realization hitting him. 

"What?" Futakuchi asks, aiming for his usual smirk but not quite reaching it with the way he's panting.

"I just realize my boss was right," Kamasaki says. "You were showing up so often because you missed me, weren't you?"

Futakuchi blushes. "Shut up," he says.

"That's fucking adorable," Kamasaki says.

"Is this really your idea of romance, Kamasa-"

Shutting Futakuchi up by kissing him turns out to be way more effective than Kamasaki's previous method of threatening to hit him.


End file.
